Love Thine Enemy
by fangirlxfantasies
Summary: Punk and Jeff are total Jerks to each other but can't seem to break away from each other. Will their destructive relationship continue or will it finally come to an end. SLASH
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: People in story have been disclaimed._

_A/n:This is probably my least funny story (excluding the stupid fluffy one) it's just kind of here...Sorry. Review anyway please._

* * *

"R-E-V-O-L-U-T-I-O-N," Phil spelled for the third time in a row. "I'm positive."

"Are you sure? I swear there's no U," Jeff said through the phone; him and Phil had been going back and forth about the spelling of words for almost half an hour.

"Just trust me, I know how to spell revolution," Phil was becoming extremely annoyed with his boyfriend at this point. "Why do you need to know anyway?"

"...You're going to laugh," Jeff said in his southern drawl.

"I promise you, I won't laugh no matter what it is," Phil knew he wouldn't keep the promise, he would probably laugh no matter what it was.

"Ok, well I'm writing a book-" Jeff didn't get a chance to finish his sentence because a loud roar of laughter bombarded him from the other end of the phone. Phil laughed for at least 3 minutes straight.

After the laughing fit Phil regained his composure, "Ok, right babe, and what's the 'book' about?"

"You said you wouldn't laugh…" whispered Jeff, his feelings hurt.

"Oh god, come on how can you really expect me not to laugh if something's that funny?"

"It doesn't matter, you said you wouldn't laugh…And I really don't think it's all that funny."

"Come on babe don't be mad! Think about it from my perspective: you, my boyfriend, Jeffery Nero Hardy just said that you were writing a book. Jeff, I didn't even know you could read!" Phil chuckled at his own joke.

Jeff was becoming frustrated now, "Why do you always make me sound like some idiot loser who got held back nine times in the 1st grade or something? It's really fucking annoying."

"Uhhh, I was kidding. But if you want to get all serious about it I'll tell you why, because you are an idiot loser. You can't spell the word revolution, hell you probably can't even spell your own name, and it took getting arrested with copious amounts of drugs to realize you might need to quit. But no, you're right it's ok, you aren't a loser at all. Personally you're the smartest guy I know!" Phil spat quickly and sarcastically.

Jeff's mouth hung open; he wasn't sure how to respond to Phil's sudden barrage of insults so he sat with the phone pressed to his ear in silence. Eventually Phil finally began talking again, "Hey, are you still there?"

Jeff nodded forgetting he was on the phone and Phil couldn't see him, "Matt's throwing a party in two weeks, you should come."

"Yeah ok I'll be there…I love you," Phil tried to mollify the situation without having to actually say sorry.

"Yeah," Jeff responded. "Okay, bye."


	2. Chapter 2

_A/n:Sorry the chapters are so short its less stress this way. plus I'm doing 2 chps. at a time so yeah...Review dammit._

* * *

Punk let himself into the party through the front door, hoping to be unnoticed. He hoped to just let his presence be known by Jeff, maybe mingle a bit with some of Jeff's friends, and get out of there as soon as possible. Phil searched the crowd of people for his boyfriend, to no avail.

"Hey Phil, you looking for my brother?" Phil jumped at the sound of the older Hardy boy's voice. Since he had met Matt he had an irrational hate for him, one that Matt wholeheartedly returned.

Phil put on his best, 'I hate you but I'll pretend to like you so your brother doesn't break up with me' smile, "Yeah, is he around somewhere?"

Matt shrugged, "Yeah probably, but if I were you I would just leave now. I don't think he'll be that happy to see you…You know after the entire you calling him a retard thing."

"That's why I need to talk to him, he hasn't called me since then."

"Good," Matt smiled. "If my brother wants an asshole so bad I'm sure he can find one better looking than you…And maybe one that isn't such a nerd."

"Listen, I am not-" Phil stopped midsentence when he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to come face to face with Jeff Hardy. "Jeff! I've been looking for you… we need to talk."

"Yeah...sure, what about?" Jeff asked innocently, as if he had no clue why Punk had the serious tone in his voice.

"Matt told me you were mad at me," Phil could feel Matt's eyes boring through him to Jeff saying 'You deserve better than this.' "You think we could go somewhere a little more private?"

"Me mad? I'm not mad! But yeah we can go to the basement." Jeff led Phil away from the party and down to his brothers cozy finished basement. "Sit down," Jeff instructed Phil motioning towards the couch. "So what makes you think I'm mad?"

"You aren't mad? About the entire stupid thing the other night?" Phil asked sitting on the couch next to Jeff as instructed.

"Why would I be mad about that?" Jeff chuckled in his southern drawl. "I don't care about that. You are entitled to think whatever it is that you think."

* * *

Meanwhile up at the party, Matt was calling everyone into his T.V. room where he had a loud speaker system set up. "Shannon and I have something special we'd like you all to hear."

"Right now in the basement there's a very interesting conversation going on," Shannon piped in. "You all know Phil Brooks right? CM Punk? Well right now he's having a very important discussion with my boy Jeff. I think you all might enjoy hearing it."

There was a round of applause as Matt turned up the speaker, blasting Jeff's voice. "…think whatever it is that you think."

* * *

"But you know, I didn't mean it, I was really tired and annoyed." Phil sounded semi relieved but knew he wasn't completely off the hook.

"Naw, it's ok, really I don't care what you think. I mean, you called me a loser, but really think about it Phil, I mean you were a virgin when we met! If I hadn't given you that little pity fuck I don't think your ass cherry ever would've been popped," Jeff smiled and raised his voice slightly to make sure the mike could hear.

Phil stumbled for words, "I-I was saving it for someone special, someone I loved maybe."

"Really? Cause I think you were a loser virgin before I met you. And after I leave you I think you'll be back to being a loser only without the virgin part."

"Ouch… Jeff, why are you saying this?" Punk looked into Jeff's eyes, conveying his most hurt expression.

Jeff rolled his eyes, "And you called me stupid."

"So your mad about the entire stupid thing? I came to apologize, you don't have to be so hurtful. Besides you act like I'm the only one here who's ever done anything wrong."

"What do you mean?" Jeff asked.

"I know there are things you haven't told me. Like that thing with you, Matt and Shannon."

Jeff looked alarmed, "What thing with me and Matt and Shannon?" Jeff glanced at the small microphone that was taped to the couch next to Phil's leg.

"Don't play dumb, I heard about you all's little make out session on New Years. I believe we'd been going out for about five months then?" Punk responded. "I'm just assuming it didn't go any further than making out." Punk heard a sudden roar of laughter coming from above them, as he glanced up at the ceiling. Jeff's arm quickly shot past him and pushed the off switch on the mike. "What was that?"

"What was what?" Jeff asked grabbing Punk's hands in a last ditch effort to stop him from looking down at the microphone.

Jeff's attempt failed miserably as Phil reached past his leg and ripped the microphone from the couch, "You were recording that?" Jeff looked stunned like he didn't know what to say. Phil guffawed, "I might be an asshole, but you're a dick." Phil rose indignantly and stormed up the stairs.

"Phil! Come here! Don't go up there-" before Jeff had a chance to finish he could hear the laughter of the entire party of people upstairs at Phil.

Punk pushed through the giggling mob attempting to keep his composure until he was at least outside in the saftey of his car.

Jeff followed Phil through the crowd until he felt someone touch his arm. He glanced back to see his brother grinning at him. Matt's grin fell as soon as he saw Jeff's face. "Hey bro, what's wrong?"

"Did he-is Phil- I couldn't see his face. Was he ok?" Jeff asked clearly regretful for what he'd done.

Matt smiled again, "Nope, he was totally about to cry. We did it kid. I think we broke him actually."

Jeff looked as though he was about to be sick, "Oh…I didn't think it would be this bad. I mean he hurt me… I hurt him...and now I feel worse."

"Damn. Well Shannon and I feel better if that helps at all."

"Not really, I think I'll go now."


End file.
